When Larry and I were married, June was themonth in which to get married. Recently July, August and September have become more popular than June for a variety of reasons.
Larry and I turned out to be one of the trend-breaking couples. Our reasons were that I was going to school nearly 300 miles away from where we would get married, and I wouldn’t even get home until the end of May. We opted to get married in early August so that I would have the time to make final wedding plans.
Sadly, we cannot predict the success of a marriage based on the month in which a couple marries. Even though we’ve been married for nearly 46 years, we know that our August wedding had no bearing on whether our marriage would last or not.
We have been married long enough that people are beginning to ask, “To what do you attribute your success?” I usually tell them, “Be head over heels in love when you get married, promise each other it will last for as long as you live, be flexible because the other person will change, and then always be looking for ways to make sure you are living up to your promise.” In other words, each person is 100 percent responsible for having the marriage work.
Larry and I recently had the opportunity to visit the Mark Twain Museum and Boyhood Home in Hannibal, Missouri. It was interesting to see his views on marriage. In 1852 Samuel Clemens wrote in the Hannibal Journal,
What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes “my dear,” and “my love” come from the heart; but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
However, 17 years later, he had discovered Olivia Langdon, a sister of one of his college friends, with whom he fell head over heels in love and to whom he had proposed. On September 8, 1859, he wrote these words to her:
This 4th of February will be the mightiest day in the history of our lives, the holiest, & the most generous toward us both — for it makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, & doubles the strength of each whereby to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, & something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, a new mystery to life; & Livy it will give a new revelation to love, a new depth to sorrow, a new impulse to worship. In that day the scales will fall from our eyes & we shall look upon a new world. Speed it!
They were married 34 years, and when Livy passed away in June of 1904, Sam was so brokenhearted that he died in the fall of the same year.
We are human beings and what we plan does not always work out, but whether you are getting married, newly married, or have been married a very long time, may God bless you with the determination to have a love that lasts a lifetime.